D as in Discipline.....

The word “Discipline” as a noun has several meanings, its first use dates from around the 13^th century, when its meaning had almost only to do with punishment; nowadays we find other definitions:

• training to act in accordance with rules; an activity, exercise, or regimen that develops or improves a skill; training (dictionary.com)
• a rule or system of rules governing conduct or activity; orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior; Self-Control (From: Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/discipline.)

As I went to a catholic school (so did my Mom and all of her brothers and sisters), the meaning and purpose of discipline was almost always related to punishment, there was always that sentence: “if you don’t behave, then….you will be disciplined or punished” (in this context the word would be a verb instead of a noun); it had that “negative” connotation that changed a lot over the years for example for my children who also went to a catholic, Marist, school; by the time they were in school, the word "discipline" had a more subtle meaning and was more used as a noun in the sense of a series of rules or instructions to follow doing a certain activity or task [see definition above].

Discipline can relate to acting according to rules, it can be related to a certain pattern of behavior, involving Self-control and of course it can be related to training, exercising and practicing for sports; depending on the context that it happens in, being disciplined can be a joyful experience…

My mom, for example, did teach me how to swim, and yes, there was discipline, you had to follow instructions and it was for the purpose of knowing how to “survive” in water, but…. there was always joy.

All my kids also learned how to swim, but, when swimming turned into a high-level competition, and the "discipline" turned into hours and hours of training just for the sake of winning, the joy faded away and they would choose other activities. Why? Easy, swimming is tough when you enter the competitive world, and then, it turns into a High skilled practice that, yes, I agree, it still is a discipline, but the word has a whole different meaning; if you don’t commit, it is very hard to be at a certain level all the time, and that takes away the fun, for sure! In a way discipline is always important when we try to learn, whether it is academics, a certain skill or a sport, however it is as important for our children to understand the need of it and experience it with the positive way of its application.

So, discipline can be very positive, it gives order, strength, it offers values, such as responsibility and perseverance, it teaches you to commit to something, to grow into an independent human being; yes, it means that at some point you have to follow rules and regulations, practices and movements, but as Maria Montessori writes:

“…an individual is disciplined when he is the master of himself and when he can, as a consequence, control himself when he must follow a rule of life. ” (The Discovery of the Child, p.51).

Discipline will give the child, your child, the tools to master Self-control and that oh so great feeling of “I can do this”!!!…but… it can also turn into something very different and negative when it is linked to punishment and disobedience. When a child has control over himself, over its movements (which can be achieved in a sport for example) it will offer a positive link to the process of discipline.

Here is a little bit of “science” …

• Executive function and self-regulation skills are the mental processes that enable us to plan, focus attention, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks successfully. These skills are crucial for learning and development. They also enable positive behavior and allow us to make healthy choices for ourselves and our families.
• Executive function and self-regulation skills depend on three types of brain function: working memory, mental flexibility, and self-control. These functions are highly interrelated, and the successful application of executive function skills requires them to operate in coordination with each other.
• Children aren’t born with these skills—they are born with the potential to develop them. In a publication of the Center on Child Development at Harvard University, we find the following:

1. Executive function skills help children remember and follow multi-step.
   instructions, avoid distractions, control rash responses, adjust when rules change, persist at problem solving, and manage long-term assignments. For society, the outcome is a better- educated population capable of meeting the challenges of the 21st century.
2. Executive functions help children develop skills of teamwork, leadership, decision-making, working toward goals, critical thinking, adaptability, and being aware of our own emotions as well as those of others. For society, the outcome is more stable communities, reductions in crime, and greater social cohesion.
3. Executive function skills increase our potential for economic success because we
   are better organized, able to solve problems that require planning, and prepared to adjust to changing circumstances. For society, the outcome is greater prosperity due to an innovative, competent, and flexible workforce.

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In The Discovery of the Child, M. Montessori states:

“The first glimmerings of discipline have their origin in work. At a certain moment a child becomes intensely interested in some task. This is shown by the expression on his face. One of the greatest difficulties in securing discipline lies in the fact that it cannot be obtained simply with words” (p.339, Kindle Edition).

In other words: “In DOING they achieve the skills to be successful and independent; going back to the definition of Dictionary.com, which states: “an activity, exercise, or regimen that develops or improves a skill” , achieving the things we want for our kids require DISCIPLINE…the kind of discipline that makes them feel good about themselves and makes them strive for better performance, a performance that makes them feel joy at what they do!

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